Never offer him a coffee. Brian doesn't even like coffee.
In fact, Brian has never liked coffee. Not since he was eight, when he mistook a steaming cup on the side for cocoa and was so horrified by the bitter black liquid it contained that he spent the majority of rest of the day with his tongue hanging out, drooling everywhere because it tasted so bad.
But sometimes you can see him in the queues at cafés with a mischievous look on his face, taking a heartbreakingly long time perusing the options before announcing to the beleaguered barista,
"I think I'll just have a tea, please."
This 100 + 0 was derived from a real life anecdote by a real life person