One time, I caught God peeking through the clouds with a pair of binoculars. I approached him cautiously.
"What are you doing?" I said, and as I did so noticed he was peering at people in church, dedicating their entire morning to him.
He looked sheepish and tucked the binoculars behind his back.
"I try not to look too often," he said, "It makes my head swell! Can't resist every now and then though."
"You know," I said, "Most people just google themselves."